Haunted by Queen – Part 2

Wednesday 4 December, 2019

So of course, two days after my last post, it was sadly the anniversary of Freddie Mercury’s death. I’m not completely insensitive or deluded so much to say that this has been more than a coincidence, but again, the timing of this has been just a little bit odd.

All my thoughts and love go to his friends’ and family.

I will say, though, that I thought, if this is some universe alignment/haunting thing – because I have no other way of explaining these levels of coincidences – I thought it would finish after the anniversary, and the few bizarre coincidences happened after that I could put it down to Green Car effect.

But then last night happened.

I decided to defer from my uni module. I’m really struggling, i’m not well enough to put my full capabilities to the work. As soon as I made that decision, I got up and I turned my radio on. The song that was on when I turned the radio on finished, and the next song to start was One Vision.

I waited for that song to finish and went to go the loo, which is by the living room. My Dad was watching Bohemian Rhapsody. I came out of the loo to the scene where they’re arguing over I’m In Love With My Car. I stayed watching a few minutes but couldn’t stay there for too long so went back to bed. About fifteen minutes later I realised they didn’t do the cupboard scene (Remember, the anecdote which seemed to have set this whole Queen Coincidence Enigma off) and went back in to talk about it with my Dad. By that point, for some reason, a Tony Hadley music video count down on a music channel was on instead.

So, Tears for Fears came on, finished, and then Radio Gaga came on after it. (Side coincidence – a thread went around twitter the other day asking which was your most controvercial Sci Fi opinion, and mine is that I think Metropolis, which has some very good bits, is actually boring over all)

This morning I woke up to I Want It All.

What is this message the universe, or maybe Freddie Mercury himself, is trying to tell me?


I’m being haunted by Queen

Friday 22 November, 2019

I know. I know. It’s a bold claim to make considering only one member is no longer with us on this plane of existence, but it’s true. Either that, or there’s a glitch in the matrix. No way could this be pure coincidence, or worse, the green car effect!

It all started two weeks ago when I read this interesting bit of trivia, which I don’t know if it’s true or not but it is amusing, about Roger Taylor. He was apparently so adament that his song, I’m In Love With My Car, should be on the B Side, that he locked himself up in the cupboard until Freddie and the rest agreed it would be.

So, Roger Taylor is not just an expert drummer and great singer, but he’s also a top notch negotioator too. (If the rumours are to be believed.) And that’s how all of this started.

The next day, I recieved Bohemian Rhapsody in the post from Cinema Paradiso. Coincidence? Glitch in the Matrix? Or, a message? I don’t know.

I watched the film, I loved the film, I then said to someone that, yes, whilst I like We Will Rock You (the song, not the musical – I’ve not seen the musical) by Queen because, obviously it’s a great song, I also quite liked Five’s version back in the 90s. Not to the point where I think it’s better, and it has it’s flaws (what were they thinking with that rap!?) but yeah, I can listen to it and I can sing along.

I listen to Absolute Classic Rock. Any Queen song can come on at any time. The next Queen song to come on after i said that, was We Will Rock You.

A few hours later I struggled to fall asleep, but eventually I started to doze off. And then Hammer to Fall came on the radio. I woke up about 10 hours later. The first song to come on after the song I woke up to finished? It was Hammer to Fall by Queen. Nature of a repetitive playlist? Coincidence? Or something more? I don’t know.

I explained to my brother that these wierd Queen-related things keep happening. Do you know what came on the telvision? An advert for a Visa card, which has Somebody to Love as the background song. It’s not unusual, they’ve been used in Adverts before – a furniture advert if I remember correctly – but the timing is a bit suspicious. Is it a green car effect? Has Queen just been everywhere all this time but finally I’m back in tune with them? I did have a Queen phase a few years ago, but it was more of a subphase to the 1970s/1980s kick I was on at the time and that’s a lot of ground to cover to know every little thing about every artist, and I think I just binge learnt about Meatloaf, Bonnie Tyler and Tiffany, and none of those artists ever seemed to follow me about during my day.

Well, a couple of days without incident went by and then I ended up watching a youtube clip of Ant and Dec where Ant’s a farmer wearing a giant wig and Dec loses it laughing. This one I brought on myself, deliberately, just because I needed to hear Dec say “It’s Brian May!” to Ant in a geordie accent. And then, I went the loo, came back to We Are The Champions on the radio. Could it be Green Car effect? Is this all just a coincidence? I don’t know. All I know is that later than night I wrote in my actual physical journal “This bizarre link to the universe needs to give me less Queen on the radio and more money”, and a split second after I wrote that sentence, Queen’s I Want To Break Free came on the radio. I think if the universe had any sense of humour, it would have actually given me “Money” by the Beatles (Or by it’s original performer Barrett Strong, or the infamous cover version by the Flying Lizards) but maybe this isn’t a case of humour.

Maybe this is all a message. What that message is, I can’t figure out!

And well, that brings us to today. Today, trying very hard to catch up on Uni work through sickness and fatique and major reconstruction works on the block of flats I live in, I had to take a break. I was falling asleep. I needed to laugh at something.

“I know!” I said to myself, “I’ll watch that clip of Paul O’Grady falling off his chair, that always makes me laugh” (sorry Paul O’Grady). And, this is tangenitally related to Queen but I’m taking it anyway. Do you know who was on the couch when Paul O’Grady fell off his chair? Matt Lucas, David Walliams and Anita Dobson. Who is Anita Dobson married to? Brian May.

I told my brother about this latest wierd coincidence, as tangenital as it may be, less than 30 seconds later “I Want It All” came on the radio.

So, Freddie Mercury, mate! I’m listening. I’ve got eyes and ears open! But I can’t figure out whatever it is you’re trying to tell me!

And, hell, i’m being presumtuous here. Maybe it’s not Freddie. Maybe it’s Roger Taylor, or hell maybe even John Deacon. It can’t be Brian May, because he’s quite active on Instagram.

Maybe, whoever it is, they’ve stopped communicating on our plane of existence and the only way they can communicate is through wierd coincidental timings involving me? I have a history of this kind of thing, after all. Maybe I am actually psychic! (or is it a Kind of Magic? hah hah hah)

Never for anything useful like Money or busses, no, but definitely if you want a film on television or a song on the radio, all I need to do is talk about it and your wish will be granted within 48 hours. Usually what happens is that I order an obscure film through Cinema Paradiso that’s not been on television in a while, only for it to be on television the day after I watch it on DVD.

Either way, whatever the message is, fellas, I’m waiting!

 

Edited to Add: The day after writing this blog post, I woke up very late and had a late start on my uni work. The uni work involves interactive videos, so I went to turn my radio off to hear them properly. Just as I reached out to slide the switch off at the back, Queen’s One Vision came on. Later on in the day my laptop crashed. I often sing to myself and as I finished one song – The Joyful Kilmarnock Blues by the Proclaimers – I started singing Bicycle Race. I picked up my phone, checked social media to find a friend had, just a minute before, posted a picture of Freddie Mercury with an inspirational quote about being yourself.

To add to this, unrelated slightly, but just as I sung the line “Jaws was never my scene and I don’t like Star Wars”, another friend posted about playing the latest Star Wars game.

What is this message and what am I meant to do with it?!

*This post is written almost entirely in jest. Though these freaky coincidences have been happening and does creep me out, I do not actually believe Freddie Mercury, or any other member of Queen, is trying to communicate with me through the power of bizarre timed songs on the radio or youtube video clip guests. But it is a nice idea, that out of all the poeple in the universe, I would be the one trusted to recieve an important message should Freddie Mercury or the other Queen Members find themselves trapped in the astral plane. Normally I’m not even trusted to pour milk out the carton.

No disrespect or offense is intended. Especially not to John Deacon, who now lives a quiet life out of the public eye and I almost didn’t mention him due to that fact, but that felt even more disrespectful to him as a person as well as a respected artist.


Weight Loss Journey: Re-Approaching The Last Hurdle

Saturday 2 November, 2019

So, I thought I’d update people on this little issue… This gets gross, so just, be aware. Turn back if you can’t handle icky, gross embarrassing health issues!

I was steadily losing a bit of weight by eating smaller portions, more veg and less potatoes and bread, cutting down on chocolate for unrelated dairy-digestion issues as well as weight… and then suddenly I had another spell of acid reflux that was more like choking on my own saliva than anything else. For six hours, I was regurgitating tiny remnants of food I’d eaten over the last two days – a bit different to outright vomiting, as vomit is (I believe) rejected and projected from your stomach, where as I had food work their way half way up my throat and get stuck, and hiccups that ended up in randomly projection of acidy gunk from… somewhere. My stomach? My throat? No idea. And after that night, I could barely eat for two months as eating anything solid, heavy, greasy, dry or soft and mushy would get stuck in my throat and come back up as chewed, digested bits in acidy gunk, a few hours later.

My diet for weight loss went out the window because I had to eat what I could, when I could. And the weight dropped off me. I don’t know how much, it might not as been as much as it looked, but it looked bad to me. It felt bad. It was also a worry that people who knew I was trying to lose weight would see this as something self inflicted, I’ve had those suspicions before when I had a blockage, but I was suffering, both then and now. For those two months, I wasn’t eating much more than cereal, bananas, chicken and over cooked pasta, chicken and rice, and peanut butter on toast.

I’ve had tests, all came back “normal”. Which means that i’ve been discharged and left to manage it by myself, because obviously if the tests say everything is fine, that means the symptoms aren’t actually happening… Oh to have a doctor like Gregory House!

It was the middle of august when I started to get an appetite back, and I felt I could eat without food getting stuck in my throat. Over the last two months i’ve managed to re-introduce food at more normal portion sizes than what I could over those two months. And I’ve put the weight on. And then a bit more, somehow.

And in these latest two months, I’ve only had an acid attack twice, and that was in the same week. Regular bouts of acid reflux are at the normal level of “every few days”.

And now it’s winter, which means being tempted with halloween themed cake, and hot chocolate, and roast dinners. I’m sticking to my idea of cutting chocolate out, it’s just hard when people offer me it becuase I’m known as the chocolate lover, and the cake eater, and I do love a good donner kebab. That one has nothing to do with diary, but I thought, whilst I was being honest… Though I haven’t had a donner kebab in a long while!

I just want to fit into my jeans again. It’s not about the numbers, it’s a third about health, but it’s mostly about my favourite pair of jeans.


I don’t understand reusable menstrual knickers

Saturday 19 October, 2019

Disclaimer: I have dyscalculia and every calculation on this post was carefully written down and calculated using a calculator, but my understanding of numbers comes and goes so there could be mistakes here and I welcome any corrections.


Thinx? Wuka? Modibodi? I don’t get them. It might be because I’ve not tried them, but a fair few youtubers have and they seem to be hit and miss. And I refuse to call them “pants” or “Panties” because I’m not American. I’m British, they’re knickers.

I’m not trying to make a big song and dance about it, there’s some wild claims out there about how some of these products don’t work and they really only highlight user error or deliberate misinformation, but I just really don’t understand how it’s meant to work. There seems to be a lot of washing involved, and an assumption that you have ready access to a washing machine, and can dry them no problem.

But I’ve been looking into products available. First of all, I was shocked at the price. People on facebook led me to believe that you can buy a set of reusable period knickers for maybe £20-25, so I was shocked and appalled to find Boots sell one pair of the Thinx brand of menstrual knickers for £30 each. I went to the Thinx website, and I found the same prices, or a set of 3 for between £73-77, depending on your style. That’s a lot.

They do say if you’re not happy with them, you can return them within 60 days, no questions asked, so that’s something.

You’ve got to wash them on cold, which makes sense if you understand blood, you can’t bleach them, which also yes, makes sense, but you can’t put them in the dryer, they have to hang dry.

So you have 3 pairs of re-usable menstrual knickers for, say £73.13 because I’m an organic cotton full brief kind of person. And that comes with two heavy day pairs and a medium day pair. So you’re going to want to dedicate one of the heavy day pairs for a night pair… unless you just want to freebleed on your sheets… You probably don’t want to do that.
So, really, you’re going to need 2 sets for one period, unless you only bleed for one day. So that’s £146.26… Wait, what? Sorry, that’s £146.26!?

For that amount of money I could buy 146 packets of Always cotton for 99p from Bodycare! Or 42 packets of TOTM Organic Cotton for £3.36 from Superdrug. There’s 14 pads in the former, and 10 pads in the latter, that means for that amount of money I could buy 2044 always cotton pads, or 420 TOTM pads. Say I use 4 pads a day, for an average of 6 days a month, so that’s 24 pads a month on average. That means for that amount of money, Always cotton would last me 85 months, and I’d get less milage out of TOTM which would last me 17 months. What? 85 months is just a bit over 7 years!
How long do thinx knickers last? Well ordinarily you’re meant to throw your underwear out every 2 to 3 years for health and hygiene reasons, but is Thinx different? There is no information on their website as to how long a pair should last a person, or signs to look out for which show they may need replacing, unlike Menstrual Cups which are lauded as lasting for 10 years. So if you go with the general information for knickers, that’s max 3 years. I mean, you’re not exactly getting bang for your buck, here, are you?

Okay so in this scenario where I’ve forked out £146.26 for 6 pairs of knickers. That’s £24 per pair of knickers btw. Not exactly my normal price range considering I get multipacks from Primark…

So I’ve forked out this money and let’s start with a night, because who risks going to bed when you’re due on without a pad on? Sp I get up the next morning, I rinse it under the tap and then I put it in the washing bag. In this scenario I’m your average person with a job, not a disabled unemployed mature student currently unable to work. The Thinx knickers can take up to an average 8 hours worth of bleeding, but there’s a “heavy” pair and a medium “pair” and it’s hard to say how heavy a person is and how much a “heavy” pair can really take. Let’s say I’m the heaviest I am, in pads I’m changing every 3 hours, because even pads for “heavy” days say they should last 4 hours between changes, so let’s say this means instead of 8 hours, the knickers can take 6. So, i’m at work, I woke up at half 7 in the morning, which means I need to change my pair of knickers by 2 in the afternoon at the latest. Maybe you’re more likely to change them at a convenient time earlier than 2 depending on your break. Okay. And then so, depending on when i’ve changed them, i change again between 7 and 8 in the evening. And then I swap that out for another night pair of knickers and that day’s worth of knickers have gone into the wash. I’ve started with 6, and I’ve already worn four of them, and I’d be wearing the fifth over night. And I’m heavy for two days.

By description, I assume they’d last longer on lighter days, but whether wearing a pair of longer on lighter days is advisable, I don’t know, because I can’t find that suggestion either way on their website. It’s all about how they match up to tampons and pads per amount of blood, rather than an hourly kind of thing. You might be able to get away with 12 hours if you’re very light, if doing so wouldn’t cause a problem like wearing a pad or tampon might.

I’m not trying to sound difficult, but that means you’re going to need to do washing when you get home and hope they’ll be dry by the next morning, to take a pair to work with you. Now as a disabled person who doesn’t go to work, and has limited access to a washing machine and absolutely nowhere to hang dry them… I’d need a third set, I think? At an eye watering total price of £219.39?

I have never once see anyone say they need to buy three sets of Thinx knickers, so what am I assuming wrongly here? Or do you really need to be washing the knickers you’ve worn, every day?

For the record, for £219.39 I could buy at least 221 packets of Always cotton pads, and at 14 pads per packet that’s 3,094 pads, or 65 packets of TOTM organic cotton pads, and at 10 pads per packet that’s 650 pads.

I know what you’re probably thinking. “But they’re disposable! Is the cost so important when it comes to the future of the planet!?” and the problem is, with disposable ones, they’re low energy and I can depend on myself for the most part. I unwrap them, i put them on, I wrap up the old one, I throw it away.

If I was to buy Thinx knickers, I would have to think about having enough between washes, I would have to figure out how best to dry them in a damp bathroom used by other people and the outlay of the cost. When will they start paying for themselves? Will they ever, if I’m forking out £219 every 3 years? It’s a lot to ask of someone to fork out a high financial cost as well as a high personal energy cost when there’s a lot more out of my control that effects these being viable. I could wake up tomorrow to a letter from the social services saying they’re revoking my care package all together, and then what would I do? And I’m sorry to say it but when it’s a choice between 9 knickers I’d need to wait on someone else to wash and hang up to dry for me that might only last 3 years, and 3094 pads which would last 171 months (14 years! Is that right?), or even 650 pads which would last 36 months, also 3 years, I know which sounds more appealing. At least TOTM promise their pads are ecologically friendly and plastic free.

Lastly, going back to a previous post, people need to stop recommending these as something else that homeless people can use. I see it less than with menstrual cups, but I do see it and I think this post highlights as to why menstrual knickers are hardly viable for the average person, let alone someone who is homeless! Asking someone who likely does not have much money in the first place to fork out the crushing expense of between £73 and £219 for not even a full week’s worth of period care, and then having nowhere hygenic to wash them, is cruel. And that offer only seems available online!

If you think homeless people should be using them, then I hope you have an open door policy on your home so they can use your washer and washing line in the garden to facilitate the wearing thereof!

Now if i am completely wrong, which I might be, I would like to know. It does feel a bit “mountain out of a molehill” here, and what do I know? I haven’t used them. But all that expense, all that work, that doesn’t seem viable to me, not in any reasonable circumstances. So I would also like to know if I am right, and this is exactly what you have to do to make menstrual knickers work for you.


Classic Movie Quest: “Pickup On South Street” and “Funny Face”

Tuesday 24 September, 2019

Pickup On South Street (Originally watched and reviewed in 2013)

This film start’s off when a lowly pick-pocketing thief, called Skip McCoy, lifts the purse/wallet of a woman called Candy, which, unbeknownst to the pair of them, contains a microfilm of top secret information that should have gone to a communist informant.

I mean with a set up like that, what’s not to like? Unfortunately… the second half of the movie.

The problem I had with this film, is that all but one of the characters annoyed me. Or, the situations they were putting themselves in that drove the plot. The familiar face and dry wit of Thelma Ritter, who in this film is playing a police informant called Moe, was the only character I liked the whole time I was watching. She’s not so clean herself, but she’s in the know. She’s a stoolie, and that’s what makes her useful to the police. Well, that, and the clothes she sells to them from out of a brief case.

The rest, though, really irritated me. Joey knows what he’s doing with that information, but he’s too afraid to leave his apartment to do it himself, so he gets Candy to do all of the legwork. Candy does what’s asked of her, no questions asked. Even when she’s had the wallet stolen, she returns to Joey and does more bidding for him. He wants her to go back out and find who stole the wallet, because obviously it’s that easy…

Well, it must be, because once she does find Skip McCoy, she gets a punch to the face, which knocks her out, and then when she’s fully conscious again, tries to turn on her charm to get the wallet, or at least the contents of the wallet, back.

And then she’s falling for Skip, and… Yeah, I don’t know. There’s something about starting a relationship with a punch to the face that doesn’t really go down well with me.

Even the good people I’m meant to like, the policemen; They annoyed me because they had Candy under surveillance and yet didn’t step in when she was being pick-pocketed, allowing Skip McCoy to walk off with the so called top secret information! How is that meant to make sense?

It’s no The Big Sleep.

2/10

Funny Face (Originally watched and reviewed in 2013)

This is a classic Audrey Hepburn film. Apparently. From experience, I do know that I’m not really one for Hepburn films, but I still watched it with something like an open mind. After all, not every single film on this classic film quest has been a bust!

So, anyway, Audrey Hepburn plays a philosophical bookworm, Jo Stockton, who gets targeted by the duo team of fashion magazine editor, Maggie Prescott (Kay Thompson), and fashion photographer, Dick Avery (Fred Astaire), after finding she works in the adorable book shop they’ve staked out as their place to do a photo shoot. But, Jo (Hepburn) doesn’t want anything to do with it! She doesn’t like the fashion industry, and thinks it’s a waste of time, and more importantly, they’re disturbing the books! Sentiments I agree with very much. The problem is, this is a romcom film, and even more, it’s a musical, so we inevitably know she’ll change her tune once worn down enough. (Pun only a little bit intended)

Like literally two scenes later, they spend maybe fifteen minutes in-film time together, Dick kisses her, she says she’s not interested and then sings a love balad about him.

Ahuh…

And then after they try and give her an impromtu make over, which she hates and runs away from, they all end up going to Paris together. This is after Dick Avery sings a song based on a back handed compliment that actually gives the name to the film. Basically, Jo said she couldn’t be a model because she has a funny face, Dick Avery then says (paraphrasing) says Maggie said the same thing but boy, could they use a funny face like hers!

Ahuh….

I didn’t last much longer after that. If someone could explain to me why they like this film, I’d really appreciate it.

1/10


Yes, we know about the menstrual cups

Thursday 12 September, 2019

If someone had told me at age fourteen that I would one day become so incensed by a sub-group of menstrual rights campaigners that I would write a blog post for everyone to read on the subject of menstruating and the right to choose which products suit you, I would have blushed and looked at you like you’d grown a second head.

But here I am, writing a blog post for everyone to see because a certain sub-group of menstrual rights campaigners have incensed me. Incensed!

Now before I get started, I know it might not sound like it, what with the straws issue and now this, I really do care about the environment. But I also really care about people and if i was to put something first, it was would be people above senseless ideals. The idea of recycling is always reduce, re-use and recycle. Nowhere does it say “Make a one size fit all solution to the detriment of a lot people”. For example, if you don’t need a plastic straw, great, don’t use one. But you don’t get to tell disabled people who do need plastic straws to find another solution… Well, unfortunately for me, you do get to tell people that because of the international bans that are happening everywhere. But this isn’t about straws, this is about menstrual cups. And the menstrual cup brigade keep coming on to posts, into the threads, on facebook, twitter, blog posts, charity articles, and vomit their hivemind all over it: “Use menstrual cups! Why not use menstrual cups! Give them menstrual cups! Take away choice and replace it with a menstrual cup!”

We get it, Martha, you love your Menstrual Cup so much you don’t just want to marry it, you want us all to marry it too. Like a cult.

For those of you don’t know what a menstrual cup is, a menstrual cup is an egg-cup shaped sillicone cup with a short funnel, which you stick up your, erm, “ladyfloo” (Look, I’ve got better with this sort of stuff over the last few years but you’re going to have to bear with me here, I’m not Jackie Collins) during your period and it collects the blood. I believe you have to empty it every 8 hours, or sooner if you have a heavy flow, but unlike tampons, there’s a low risk of toxic shock syndrome.

But the menstrual cup, however great for these people, is not the one size fits all solition they wish it to be, and I am quite frankly thoroughly sick of it being suggested every time a period-related issue comes up.

It is not going to help homeless people on their period, because not only is it still cost prohibitive to buy, there are a lot of hygiene related issues when it comes to being homeless. Even when given free ones, you have to think about cleaning it, you have to think about sterilising it, and you have to think about storing it. It is not good to just “wipe it with a bit of tissue” like I keep seeing suggested! I’m not a microbiologist, but I think the last thing a homeless person would want is to be made sick by a bit of remnant tissue fibres and dried blood being shoved back up inside them when their own hands don’t feel clean enough to even handle applicated tampons. And homeless people have their stuff stolen, confiscated, ruined and set on fire on a regular basis.

It’s not going to help girls staying off school because of period poverty, again because the cost is prohibitive, and you’re asking twelve year old girls who might not even be comfortable with tampons to handle something like a menstrual cup – by these people’s own admission, there is a “technique” to it – at a time when their bodies are changing. They might have strict parents, or strict religious parents, or helicopter parents with boundary issues who do not allow insertable period products which means they couldn’t wear them even if they wanted them.

And thirdly, it’s got to be about choice! And what I keep seeing from the menstrual cup brigade, is that they see these as all individual problems all solved with this one thing. Too poor to regularly buy period care? That’s okay, one up front cost of £20 and you’re set for 10 years! Kids can’t go to school on their period? Get them a menstrual cup! Amazon workers can’t have bathroom breaks to deal with tampons and pads? Don’t worry, the menstrual cup can be used for 8 hours! Long journey and a tendency to leak? You can’t leak with a menstrual cup (you absolutely can if it’s not inserted correctly or your flow is heavy)!Oh the environment’s suffering at all the disposable period care that makes it into the eco system? Solve it by only ever using one product for the next 10 years! Let’s ignore that you might need to clean it and use something in your underwear whilst it’s being cleaned.

That’s the menstrual cup brigade’s modus operandi. They ignore a lot of things. They ignore what they themselves know – Everybody is different, and because of that, everyone needs different things. The size and shape doesn’t work for everyone, just like tampons don’t work for everyone. On a very personal note, I have almost always exlcusively used pads because I can not use tampons. I’ve used them twice, I am not compatible with them, and cups are bigger and take more handling to insert. I’d rather freebleed than try a menstrual cup.

There’s a “technique” that some people, no matter how hard they try, can not “master the art of”. And, by the menstrual cup brigade’s own admission, sometimes you have to use a different type. Now a quick google tells me the Mooncup is £21.99, the Lily Cup is £18.99 and the Diva Cup is £24. So that’s someone, who might not have that kind of money, forking out at least £65 to try something that might just not work with their body? Bodies are so different! Why are people, in this day and age of understanding the issue with “for women” clothes sizes, and diet advice and medication is more dependent on an individual basis, so ignorant to suggest this one solution can work for all body types, all flows, all lives and all priorities? It doesn’t!

I am barely scraping the top of the issues I have with the menstrual cup brigade here!

I have seen them say charities should hand them out to every kid who starts their period and they’ll be set for all of school. As well as the issues i’ve already covered, ignoring the matter of simply choice, am I really reading that a bunch of adults think a child who could be as young as eight use a menstrual cup!? I mean we’re talking the practical sizing issues of this, and the emotional trauma of starting puberty young. At least lillets do nice small pads aimed at tweens in cute packaging. It’s inoffensive, it’s non-confrontational and it, or at least it is aiming to, convey the message “you might have started your period, but you’re still a child!”. I can’t see them being able to manage that with a menstrual cup. I’m not sure I’ve even seen tampons aimed at tweens.

And yes, at the forefront of this, is choice. It doesn’t matter if the menstrual cup brigade can bulldoze over issues such as pracitcality (Ask a cafe for some boiling water!) and hygiene (just wipe it with a tissue!) and home life situations (tell your parents you make your own decisions! Your religion is oppressive!), they can not bulldoze over the simple matter of choice.

You have the right to choose what to use with your period care. And whilst I’ve seen the menstrual cup villify anyone who explains their issues with the menstrual cup, blaming them for not doing it the right way, not using the right product, not having the right body, and downright eviscerating anyone who says it’s simply something they choose not to use, it doesn’t change the simple matter of fact that you have your own rights and your own voice. Don’t let them take away disposable pads, disposable tampons and plastic applicators like the straw brigade took away our straws.

And if you’re reading this thinking “Well I just like to suggest to people there are options”, here’s the problem, you’re not the only one making the same suggestion. If you think by now poeple don’t know about the menstrual cup, if you think your ability to use one means everyone has the ability, the practicality, the financial stability to use one (or two or three), maybe just try one thing before you barrel on with that suggestion: Ask them if they want a suggestion for an alternative first. Because I can tell you, they probably don’t. Homeless poeple don’t, school children don’t, charities working with vulnerable people don’t. They just want people to have better access to the products that they are already familiar with.

Just, stop.


I’m bored with alphabetizing my DVDs

Friday 3 May, 2019

Sometimes when I couldn’t sleep when I was younger, I used to rearrange my CDs. It would be like a rota of late night organising to see me through my insomnia, until I felt tired enough to sleep. Sometimes I would swap from them being alphetised by artist and band, to alphabetising them by album names. Sometimes I would rearrange them so that all the bands beginning with “The” would be alphabetised so that the second word was what was counted – The Beatles came under B, The Beach Boys came under B, The Beautiful South… also came under B…. I guess I like a lot of bands who begin with B. Oh, I also like The Ataris, and they would come under A, and of course, The Proclaimers, who would come under P. So now we all know how the alphabet works, I’ll move on.

The VHSes were put through similar flights of my fancy, in the day during school holidays. We didn’t have many (as in with case and cover) because we tended to tape off the telly (and we had loads of those!) but at one point my parents were members of a VHS club, and I don’t know what the terms and conditions were or even why, but every month for a while, we got a fancy schmancy full on VHS (as in not taped off the telly) through the letterbox. This meant that we had Stephen Seagal films, James Bond films, various thrillers and the occasional rom com. In fact, it was the sudden prevalence of Romcoms, which my parents did not watch, which led to my parents ending their subscription to this film club in the end. But, thanks to that club, we did have 4 Weddings and a Funeral, While You Were Sleeping, and a Tom Hanks one I can’t really put a name to. And what I used to do was, I would rearange them from alphabetical, to rating, to genre, to colour of the case – and it used to annoy the crap out of me that so many James Bond films had that black and gold spine, but then randomly one was blue!? And then, after my Dad bought some tapes from the local renting tape shop’s closing down sale, we also had two oversized white VHS cases, which was even worse than blue! How was I meant to keep our tapes in some sort of order with that?

I’ll tell you how, sometimes I also rearranged by height.

Anyway, lately in my life, it’s been a bit stressful.  I’ve not been well, i’ve had problems with my wheelchair, I’ve been trying my hardest to keep my head above water on my degree, and so as a source of comfort, or maybe just plain old disctraction, I’ve been itching but unable to rearrange my DVDs. I’m physically no longer capable of kneeling, sitting on the floor, or bending. So if I want my DVDs arranged, not for a whim but because I’ve been on a DVD sale purchasing binge (hello, CEX 10p DVDs! And also hi charity shops that sell three DVDs for £1!), I have to wait to have time with someone – usually my PA – to put them in the order for me.

But lately…. alphabetising hasn’t felt “right”. Like with the CDs and the VHS, I need to change it up and around a bit. I can’t physically do it myself right now, but if I was able to…. I’m unsure as to how. As in, I don’t know which order I should change it to.

I considered by rating, but they actually changed the rating system in 2002, so I don’t want to do that on principle of not liking 12A as a rating. I think it’s ridiculous and just very, very unneccesary.

I could go by colour, and I’m tempted to go by colour, I have a couple of pink spines there that would make it interesting, but there’s a lot of black spines too and I can see that being a problem for directing people to the right movie for me.

I’m extremely tempted to arrange by genre. I feel like the boredom of alphabetising is shoved over quite forcefully when I think of arranging by genre! It’s exciting to think about! I’ve been alphabetising my DVDs for 10 years! By genre will be a new experience! But it’s also complicated. Which genre goes first? Do I alphabetise the genres? I plan to alphabetise inside the genres, as in 10 Things I Hate About You would go before 27 dresses in the romcom section, so it would make sense, but should Romcom come before Thriller, for example?

And exactly what genres are there? Because I look at my DVDs and I see (some) romcoms, I see animated Disney, non-animated Disney, Disney Pixar, I see 80s classics, I see Sci-Fi, Sci-Fi comedy, Sci-Fi kids. I’ve got fantasy movies, pirate movies, animated pirate movies, comedy, horror comedy, slasher, drama, period drama, drama musicals, musicals, kids non-animated musicals, thrillers, coming of age, and historical fiction!

What genre does Attack the Block fall in to? Horror, Sci-Fi, Coming of Age or Comedy? Does anime deserve it’s own genre, or do I put Endless Walts under Sci Fi? Is Fame a musical, an 80s classic or a coming of age movie!?

And then there’s the few “inspired by comics” movies that I have, do I put them all together in one section, or alphabetise them into Sci Fi too?

I just don’t know!

It’s exciting times at The House of A Failed Journalist.

Anyone have any suggestions? I’m all eyes!


The weight loss diaries 2: Back in the habit

Saturday 13 April, 2019

So I suppose this is my quarterly update! To be honest, I don’t know what to say. It seems like all other diet and well being blogs focus on numbers and meals that they’ve depended on, but without a way to weigh myself, I don’t really have any numbers to share, and I wouldn’t want to focus on “the numbers” anyway – it’s not my way of doing this – and I don’t have a miracle meal that’s seen me through.

The ultimate thing is that I have lost some weight.  The clothes that I’ve worn for years that were getting tighter on me are now a bit looser, and I can now get my favourite jeans on passed my thighs. I just need to lose a bit more to actually button them up and sit comfortably whilst wearing them.

I thought the hardest thing about eating better and going back to a vareity of foods would literally be the variety aspect. Over the last ten years I’ve ended up with a wierd hodgepodge of intolerances and allergies, and I can’t keep track of them and it seems neither can my body. It’s sspecially wierd because three years ago when I really wasn’t well, I seemed to have bad reactions to a lot of things and I had to swear off a lot of things – for example, bananas, eggs, fresh tomato, and all citrus fruits, and these reactions were anything from agonising pains in my stomach, stomach upsets, to itchy rashy skin, but over the last year or so, I’ve risked some things again and found myself okay with them; Others haven’t been as bad as I was expecting, like lemon, but still the itchy tingling sensation I got in my mouth leads me to think that i’m best staying away from ingesting lemon again in the near future. So as it is, the variety is okay. It’s not the best, but it’s better than it was.

The hardest thing about eating better and losing weight is actually the boredom eating and the lack of infratstructure in the big wide world.

So with the snacking… I have a history of comfort eating. It started after my friend died in 2005 and every now and then I uncontrollably fall into that same need to eat whatever chocolatey, sugary, biscuity snacks we have, in the evening a couple of hours after tea. I could psychobabble myself through the explanations but I think all that’s relevant is that these days it’s because of boredom, stress or needing a sort of edible procrastion. So it’s been hard to tell myself no. Because this is not hunger, it’s literally either wanting something to do, wanting something extra to do whilst doing uni work, or wanting to take my mind off whatever I’m stuck on with uni work. I’m worried it’s always going to be a constant battle. How can I take eating healthy seriously when 8’clock rolls around and all I want to do is eat a whole packet of jaffa cakes? It’s like I get hit with a sense memory of jaffa cakes, the taste, the soft texture of  the cake mixed with the smooth texture of the jelly and the tang of the orange, the sound of the package crinkling, the smell after the package is open, and it doesn’t go away until I’ve eaten enough Jaffa cakes to feel like I could throw up. The havoc it’s caused on my acid reflux in the past is ridiculous. So the boredom snacking, you could probably even call it binging though that feels like a loaded term that I woudln’t like to misuse for risk of trivialising people who struggle with binging – that’s been very difficult.

But, the other thing that’s made it difficult is that when out and about, there’s no real eating places if you take your own food. Sure, there’s a few benches here and there, but there’s no picnic tables, or if there is, they’re not wheelchair accessible. I thought my biggest problem would be keeping my food edible between leaving the house and eating it at lunch time, but actually even though my home made ice block made from a sponge has it’s problems, the biggest problem is comfortable eating. I can’t believe I didn’t think of this before, but it’s like city centres and towns want you to depend on them for your food choices. If you want to eat at a table, you need to eat in a restaurant of some sort, and then you have to trust that all the health information is accurate.

Now recently research was done that discovered something I have always felt to be true, that fast food chains tend to be healthier than resteraunts. This is because they have smaller portions, and, because of their reputation, now have decent ingredient/food intake information on everything, and everything is basic. That’s not to say it’s bad, it’s just they don’t go out of their way to add a million ingredients in the bid to make their food better. It’s basic cuts, basic eggs, basic flour, basic deep fat frying, where as restaurants don’t measure how much “non-ingredients” they use, and they use a lot. So of course there’s going to be a difference between a basic chicken mayo – the aforementioned cut, egg, flour, fryer, to a gourmet chicken burger, which will have high quality of oil, herbs, peppers, possibly a mixture of bread for the bread crumbs. Even though it’s not really listed, it’s still ingested, and it all adds up.

So yes, I have found myself going to McDonalds and subway when out and about, because a) it saves struggling at a bench with a sandwich on my knee and you can forget about the rice and pasta idea!
b) I know exactly how much is meant to be in it, though I understand if it’s a bit off but it’s going to be closer than what I guage with my own ingredients being made by my wayward family who don’t listen to my instructions. You can’t tell me a basic chicken salad from McDonalds or Subway is going to be worse than any salad with a dressing I can’t even bare to eat, possibly with ingredients I have bad reactions to, from an upmarket restaurant.

But I really believe if we put the infrastructure back in, with picnic benches, with public areas that welcome you to eat your own food in comfort, we’d see a lot less people eating salt and sugar rich restaurant food of any kind. And maybe, just maybe, why that’s why we don’t see picnic tables around city centres or parks anymore, because why allow people to eat their own food for free when you can make them eat unhealthy food and make money off the commodity of comfort?

Also due to my health and my parents health and carer availability, i’ve also been depending on microwave meals. Again, not the healthiest, there’s a lot of salt in them I wouldn’t eat if I had the choice, but the fact is I don’t. I try and get the healthiest ones I can – I’m quite partial to getting Marks and Spencers mini meals, but the cost wracks up so I can only get them if I know I can afford them.

Maybe with all of that combined, it’s why progress might be considered slow. But actually, given how close I am to fitting in to my favourite jeans once again, I’m doing well. I mean, I am undoing a year’s worth+ of over eating and comfort eating here, and being unable to exercise,  something must be going right just with portion control.

(Portion control comes from a lot of diet and health apps and general health and well being advice, which seems to be a mixture of calory counting and making sure as many as the different food groups are represented on one plate. We’re talking less chips and potatoes – not none, just less – and more green vegetables at it’s most basic).

So let’s see what happens in the next four months.


Spontaneious Travelling: Chester (Part 2)

Saturday 23 March, 2019

After we ladies who lunched in McDonalds, we headed over to Chester Cathedral. This was not a revisit from me and my Nana’s day out in Chester, I’ve just always wanted to go to Chester Cathedral, mostly to compare it to our Anglican one here in Liverpool (We don’t talk about the Catholic one). There wasn’t a set ticket price to enter, however there is a certain pressure to “donate” a “suggested amount” at the entrance before you enter, in the form of an intimidating donation box with a sign as you pre-queue to go in, passed a staffed desk by the doors. I paid the donation, but due to free carer tickets being the standard, I only paid for myself and my Carer came in free with me. I think it was quite fair!

It is nicely done! It is not 100% wheelchair accessible, but it was accessible enough for me to finally feel welcomed somewhere. I would say it’s got a different feel to it indoors than the Liverpool Anglican cathedral, and because I’m biased I might be inclined to say it’s not as beautiful as the Liverpool Anglican cathedral, but that would be unfair. It has it’s own beauty to it and it was nice to look around. We arrived just at the start of a short afternoon service, so me and my carer stayed at the back, admired the architecture and when the priest finished his short service, we went looking around the grounds

I’m not religious now though I used to be, and although there’s a lot that doesn’t sit right with me when it comes to religion – and never did, as a matter of fact – but you have to give credit where it’s due. This building, like the Cathedrals here in Liverpool, have become half way houses to meet the needs of the religious and the tourists, and it is a very peaceful place to wander around.

The side of Chester Cathedral at a corner. A cast iron fence in the foreground at the bottom of the screen, with a bit of green garden between that and the building. The building is mostly a dirty brown. On the bottom floor is 8 glass windows, the second floor shows 10 glass windows, with spires obstructing their view. Above those windows are more spires and the top is the tower bellfry with three chimneys showing

And, like all tourist places, it even had a gift shop! It was a bit cramped, but you’re reading the words of someone who got through Liverpool Anglican Cathedral’s gift shop without knocking a single item over, so rest assured, no items were smashed in the procurement of labelled pens! There was also a lovely stain glass window effect magnet that I now regret not buying.

Finally, after what felt like a terrible morning, my mood was shifting and I started feeling a bit better about this outing and my lack of mobility. Ironically it took an almost 2000 year old building to do that, against a backdrop of modern businesses. Modern businesses in a similar-ye-olde-aged-building, admittedly, but modern nonetheless, with modern customers who are no longer institutionalised in institutions…

Ahem.

Where was I? The only downside was the battery on my wheelchair. Thanks to our stop and start tour around the Cathedral, and the weather warming up temporarily, I found my battery was still hovering on full orange when we first came out of the Cathedral, however 10 minutes later after trying to get my maps on my phone to work to see where the roman gardens were, I turned my wheelchair back on to see I’d gone down a full orange.

I still decided to continue on and risk it. After all, what’s a day out without risking battery failure in the middle of the main road, right? I did let my carer know what was going on, at this point… but not to the degree that I could have. I told her, at that point, I was losing power a bit more quickly than normal, but we should have enough power to get to the park and back. With her faith in me, we continued.

So we eventually got to the park, but not without a few false starts. IE, I can’t read maps and even when I’m following the directions I always tend to go to wrong until the arrow sends me off in the right direction. Unfortunately, it was winter, so the beautiful gardens with the beautiful roman mosaics on the floor didn’t shine up on me like it had all those years ago. Don’t worry, I plan to go back and admire it in full bloom!

So I took a few photos but, the temperature had dropped again, we could see our breaths despite the bright watery sun in the sky, and worried my battery – at this point flickering between one orange and two oranges – would leave us stranded at the bottom of the ramp, we didn’t go much further than half way, and turned around.

“Can we get a hot coffee?” my carer asked.

“Yes,” I said, “And I’ll get a cup of tea.”

The plan at that point was to head back to the train station, get something to drink there and wait around for our train back. However we saw a nice little quaint tea and cake shop on our route which had a ramped entrance and, frozen to the core and my carer’s caffiene levels dropping as fast as my battery power, we ducked inside for a mid-afternoon, pre-train snack.

Elements of a fancy tea - a jug of hot water, a jug of milk and the teapot behind, all white on top of a white tablecloth with a blue layer coming through the lace. A nicely manicured hand is in the background, the nails visible show an orchid magenta and a light pink on the third nail. To the left of the photo there is a pot of sugar and salt sachets

I found the tea was lovely. My carer ordered coffee and a traditional cream scone which she also thoroughly enjoyed. It was only after drinking my tea and finding myself in need to use the toilet that I realised I’d failed to do the first basic check when in a food establishment – ask where the toilets are first! This place did not have a wheelchair accessible bathroom and their non-disabled toilet were down a set of internal steps.

Bugger. I do hate giving money to places who only want my money, not actually cater to my needs.

On those grounds I can not recommend this place, and that’s also why I won’t be naming them here. You know who had an accessible toilet? McDonalds and the Cathedral!

Oh well! We continued our journey for the trian back. It was at that point I told my carer how bad the battery situation was – I was critically losing battery power, flickering between the last orange and the first of only two reds, and that I thought the taxi driver had done something when he tied his straps around the wrong place on my wheelchair. This wasn’t the usual cold weather battery loss. So the walk back to the train station had to switch to the bus – which was easy to catch once we knew which bus stop we had to go to, and unlike the shuttle bus, it stopped at a normal stop opposite the train station and we got out no problem.

On arrival at the station I nipped to the toilet – red cord was tied up and there was a bin in the transfer space – and then with the help of staff and my Carer, got on board the train. At that point I was down to the reds and wondered if I was going to make the switch between platforms when back to Liverpool, but that turned out to be the least of my worries when I was on board.

I won’t go into details, but basically I got harassed on the train, the staff did nothing to help and next time I go to chester, I will go by bus. On the plus side, thanks to the warmth of the train and being stationary for a while, by the time we got back to Liverpool, I’d gained full oranges again. With the change over to the Northern line and then the pavement journey home, I managed to get back on red, going at a snail pace.

I do plan on going to Chester again, especially because shortly after I got back I was made aware of a guardian article that said Chester was one of the most accessible places! But I would do things a lot differently. Whilst the rows is accessible – as in you can get to them from the ground floor of the shopping centre – it’s not completely accessible, and most of the shops on the rows have steps to get in to them. I have a policy for life – If I have to ask to get in, I won’t go in and i’ll go somewhere else. It could be that the shops have ramps inside, there might be alternative entrances, but that to me is shifting the responsibility of access on me, not them. If there are alternative entrances, why are they not good enough for everyone to go through?

And the shuttle bus situation needs to be fixed. I sent a complaint letter shortly after I visited chester, and I never heard anything back. I should probably chase that up!

But that cathedral is very much worth a visit. I think on a warm, sunny day, just sitting in the gardens would be lovely, and next time I go I’d like to try the cafe instead of depending on McDonalds.

On the matter of this being an affordable day out, let’s tot it up:-

Train Faire:- £5.20, day saver
Begdrudging Taxi Faire:- £10.00
McDonalds Lunch consisting of a McChicken Sandwich, Medium Fries and a cup of tea:- £5.37
Cathedral “suggested donation” entry fee:- £4
Afternoon tea:- £5.50
Emergency Bus Faire:- £2.40

Total:- £37.97.

A bit high for a day that was only half enjoyable, I must admit, especially when you think that taxi faire was completely unneccessary, but for the distance travelled and in comparison to a day out in, for example, London, I think it’s not as bad as it could have been. Especially when you compare it to London even one step further and think how long it takes to get between places when in a wheelchair. At least in Chester, the furthest part ouf was the park.

And for anyone interested, I went out a few days later and despite only being out a couple of hours I came back on orange. I called up the wheelchair repair people and the guy who came out confirmed what I suspected – the battery case had been cracked, and also a wire connection had been broken. There is only one way that could have happened.


Spontaneous Travelling: Chester (Part 1)

Saturday 16 March, 2019

So I got the news a short while ago that something I contributed to was no longer going ahead. It was originally thought up 2 and a bit years ago, but sadly after a few false starts, it just wasn’t meant to be.

One of the things I did for this project, I only did last year, when things still looked to be going ahead. I was not going to be a regular contributor, because of my health and degree, but I was going to give something when I could. And now I am free to do what I like with it, here it is:

A journey review of Chester. From a disabled person’s point of view, not planned to the nth degree.

I live in Liverpool, and it’s very easy to do, especially for able bodied people, to just hop on the train and go to Chester from any Merseyrail train station with the change at either Central or Moorfields. And it’s pretty cheap at the cost of a Merseyrail Day Saver. I had a vague plan set out. I’d last been to Chester when I was a teenager, and I remember having fun with my Nana, so I wanted to do similar things I’d done with my Nana back when I was a manual user.

I would say this started off badly as soon as I tried to book the ramp. I hardly ever book ahead when it’s Merseyrail, I don’t believe in it and I think expecting disabled people to book everything in advance is holding us to a higher and stricter standard than able bodied people are. However, st the time of this journey, I was experiencing a lot of problems with Merseyrail and their unfair policies that put disabled people at a higher disadvantage to travel than able bodied members.

A member of staff who, for health reasons (she was pregnant), could not deploy the ramp. Merseyrail’s policy was, instead of having two members of staff on shift or having that member of staff in a different role whilst another member of staff was on platform, so that wheelchair users could continue to travel freely on the network, they left that staff member to stay in their role and ordered taxis for anyone wishing to travel.

Now because I complained and explained it was discrimination to expect someone to wait up to an hour for a taxi to turn up, just because they wouldn’t have a second member of staff on to do the ramp, they booked me a taxi to turn up at the time I would get to the station. The problem is the train journey to Central is 17 minutes, with 2 minutes to get from my local station to the next station by train. By road, it takes 10 minutes on a good day, 15 on an average day and 20 minutes on a bad day, meaning I wouldn’t only miss the train I planned to get (the 12 past 10), I would potentially miss the next two, eating in to the time I had available with my Carer for the day in Chester. It was all so incredibly unfair and frustrating.

My carer couldn’t turn up any earlier than 10’clock so we got to the station with 2 minutes to spare before the train arrived, meaning we would have been able to get on the train had I been able bodied. But I’m not, and there was a taxi waiting. My second issue with the taxi situation is that they use the same company that my hospital uses when there’s not a patient transport ambulance available, and I’ve had enough negative experiences with them through hospital transport, that I no longer get this company’s taxis, and I wasn’t happy having to depend on a driver from this company to get me to the next station when I could have just been on the train. And then the day got worse.

The taxi driver was annoyed he’d had to wait, and then he got the ramp down. The staff member had left us to it, because of a previous intense conversation where we clashed over the ramp situation a few times before. I know it’s for medical reasons, but I felt it was partly her responsibility to fight disabled people’s rights to access the train. By continuiing to both be on the station without a second member, or at all, it allowed the continuation of discrimination from Merseyrail.  So, understandably, she left.

I asked the driver to put the seats up, so I could turn around. He became… I won’t say aggressive, but certainly confrontational. “Er, Why?”

I said it was so I could turn around and travel backwards.

He said No. I asked why, and he said he wasn’t going to let me travel backwards, because the wheels turning around in his car would rip up his carpets. I said I always travel backwards, I’ve never ripped up anyone’s carpets. He would not budge. Then he told me I’d be fine, because I’m in an electric wheelchair, and I should travel sideways anyway because that’s safer. They are both lies.

  1. Lightweight electric wheelchairs skid and tilt if not either wedged in or tethered down. I am not heavy enough to increase traction or to keep four wheels on the floor if we take a corner badly, and I’ve already tipped backwards in a taxi once, I don’t wish to experience that again.
  2.  It is not safer to travel sideways, it is safer to travel backwards.

At that point I had the choice of sending the driver away, having my PA go up to the station and tell the staff member she’ll have to call another taxi, wait up to an hour for it to arrive, at the risk it would then take 20 minutes to get to the next nearest train station, (when able bodied people could just get on the train and go 2 minutes up the line!!!) meaning another potential hour and a half eating in to the time with my Carer to get to Chester and back, or travel sideways. I compromised, and said fine, but I needed the straps.

Then he argued with me that I didn’t need the straps, because i had breaks.

I’m going to let you in on a secret that manufacturers don’t like you spreading: The breaks don’t do anything unless you’re on free wheel. If you’re on Powerchair mode, which as an electric wheelchair user, I almost always am, the breaks don’t do anything because it’s the motor that stops the wheels from going around, either by being turned off, or by being on but not pressing the joystick to go in a direction. And as I’ve explained already, I skid, which means the wheels are skimming the tractionless floor without turning at the axel. It is the same as being on a boat in your car, and not being tethered down. If the waves are rolling, your car’s going to be too, even if the breaks are on. It’s basic physics. And I say that as someone with dyscalculia that almost failed physics.

I eventually got him to put the straps on, and in that process, he broke my wheelchair. As he tied the strap down in the wrong place, because he didn’t listen to my instructions, nor did he have the right straps, he tightened the belt and I heard a small crack. That crack led to my wheelchair losing power a lot quicker than normally over the process of 6 hours.

By the time we got to our next train station, we literally got there just as the second train was pulling out, so we had to wait for the third. The journey, thankfully, went smoothly from there, getting to Central and then it didn’t take too long until we were in Chester.

Chester has a shuttle bus of sorts that takes you from the station to the city centre. First we tried to find out where it would be, we were told to look at the information board, but it wasn’t actually on the information board, so then we went to the actual information desk, waited in the kew and the information desk said they were only train information and weren’t sure exactly where the bus stopped but if I went outside the main doors, I would either find the bus there or other poeple waiting for the bus that I could ask.

We did, and then we waited. And waited. And waited. And then the bus turned up, and I couldn’t get on it. It was wheelchair accessible, but it was a middle door type situation, and the problem was the bus driver couldn’t get that middle door close enough to the kerb to deploy the ramp because the front of the bus was blocked by a sharp crescent terminus. I don’t know if I believe him, because he wouldn’t even try.  I had people offer to tilt me and lift me on, which the driver recommended I do!!! But otherwise, he couldn’t help and I coudln’t get on.

I said that wasn’t even remotely accessible or appropriate, and we left, allowing a gentleman in a manual wheelchair to be lifted on the bus instead. I make no judgement on people who choose to be lifted, but I’m not a child nor a parcel from amazon, and that ramp is there to be used. I did not get the chance to get a photo of the ramp I couldn’t use, but here’s the front of the bus the driver told me I could get on instead:-

The picture shows a red bus with it's door open, four people's legs in the queue, one lady clearly in jeans and a gentleman in front of her with dark grey trousers on. A man also in jeans is crossing in front of the photo. The bus's front steps overhangs on the curb awkwardly with a ten inch gap

So, we got a taxi to the city centre. I went backwards, and I was strapped in with the proper straps! It costed £10, including the tip (I’m from Liverpool, we tip). I thought it would start looking up. I took photos of the nice buildings, I took photos of the clock, I took photos of a roman soldier wandering around and then hoped I wasn’t breaking some sort of etiquette, and then we headed in to The Rows. Now, I remember the Rows from when I was there with my Nana, and I remember being pretty impressed. This time, it left me somewhat dissappointed!

I could get around the ground floor, great. And then we went up. I could get from one side of the outside, to most of the way around the building, but I could only get in one or two shops due to those shops having steep steps either up or down into them, then I had to turn around and go back the way I’d came whilst people who could use stairs had free run of the whole place. Either I’ve misremembered how good Chester was, or I didn’t care at that point because I loved spending time with my Nana, or something’s changed in Chester since then.

It had gone lunch time by then, and to say I was down was a bit of an understatement… and then I noticed my battery gage. Talking of things being down… I had full green when we left the house, and I was suddenly on the last green, except what had really caugtht my attention was the flickering out the corner of my eye. It was going between at least one green and just the oranges. I can lose battery in the cold quite quickly, but it hadn’t been that cold, even if it was, this was quicker than even that, and I’d never seen it flicker between two colours like this before. It wasn’t quick, but it seemed that any time I changed direction, or stopped, I would gain or lose a bar, respectively.

So we tried to get lunch in somewhere warm, hoping my battery would re-calibrate itself. Or I was, anyway. I, er, neglected to share this news of impending battery death with my carer for fear she’d make us go home 3 hours early…

It didn’t go well. I mean, lunch plans specifically, not the battery issue. Either places I could get in did food I wasn’t kean on – I might have mentioned previously, I eat pretty bland foods with simple recipes. No herbs, nothing spicy, nothing too heavy, and nothing I can slop down myself; And the places I wouldn’t have minded trying, all little eateries, had no wheelchair access. We ended up in good old McDonalds. My Carer wasn’t best pleased…

But hey, McChicken Sandwich, Chips and a cup of tea. 10/10, would recommend!

A photograph of a meal from Mcdonalds. A cup of tea in a jazzy style cup a mcchicken sandwich in the middle with stray bits of lettuce in the box and a carton of medium fries on the right with a monopoly sticker showing. The fries are spilt on to the tray.

Chester Nay McDonalds yay

The question is, did the rest of the day get better? Tune in next time to find out!