I am not normal

A few months ago, I wrote a post, which I locked, about how worried I was about the chance of being genetically normal. A few years ago, I was put in for a genetic map study because my rare undiagnosed condition had gone undiagnosed for too long. I was worried because I’ve had a few people in my life, at key times of my life, who have doubted that there was anything wrong with me at all. I was regularly dismissed as being an attention seeker and it’s taken me years to grate off the feeling that I am not disabled enough for help, not disabled enough to be disabled, that their outright and underhanded attitude towards me imprinted on me. I might have a terrible memory now, but I can still remember most, if not all, comments said to me that have hurt over the years, and I remember who said them and when they said them.

And I was worried about the results, because if it turned out I was genetically “Normal”, that would turn my identity upside down. I couldn’t think past the possibility of various conditions I’d come across and read up about, because there was always this chance that they hadn’t found any genetic reason for why my body is the way it is.

Well. I got the results and it’s taken me a while to write this entry, like five months nearly, but I am glad to say that I am not normal. Genetically speaking, i’m abnormal. To say I was relieved was an understatement.

I have a rare bone disorder, that is so rare that currently I am the 50th person to be diagnosed with it, in the whole wide world, and is currently the most severest and the most furthest advanced that my genetecist had seen. I’ve lived with this for over 30 years, in mystery and in doubt and in pain. I had surgery to physically correct my body’s abnormalities that the genetic fault cause, at a time we didn’t even have genetic mapping.

The faulty gene was only discovered and named a year and a bit ago, and it was only in April last year that it flagged up on my sample.

I know this sounds suspcious, but I don’t want to share the name with everyone just yet. I’m just glad I have a piece of paper that confirms what I’ve been saying all this time, that my joints rest badly on each other, and that the pain I’ve been suffering from is bone pain. I have a piece of paper that says it’s a collagen fault, randomly occuring within me. I have not caused this myself, and my parents didn’t cause it, and more importantly, the doctors didn’t cause this by operating willy nilly on me when I was a child, as one unhelpful person suggested. People paint the 80s and 90s as if it was full of mad scientists eager to operate and to change and to improve without a care to the consequences, but as having lived through it, I know for a fact that whilst my doctors did some radical things to save my life, and to improve it on subsequent operations, they were never a moment too soon. I remember the pain of being left to wait too well.

If I was to have children, I would pass it on to them. You can’t have it and not carry it, but you can have it without inheriting it.

Now that they have a name for it, and as the word spreads more doctors will know what to look for, I hope it means more people looking for answers, because they live in pain and the current diagnosis of arthritis or scoliosis and or post-operative complications or they’re attention seeking or it’s all in their head, get tested and diagnosed too.

I am not normal, and that’s the best news I had in 2018.

I don’t know what 2019 will bring but i’m not sure it will top cracking a 30+ year old mystery.

 

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