I’m being haunted by Queen

Friday 22 November, 2019

I know. I know. It’s a bold claim to make considering only one member is no longer with us on this plane of existence, but it’s true. Either that, or there’s a glitch in the matrix. No way could this be pure coincidence, or worse, the green car effect!

It all started two weeks ago when I read this interesting bit of trivia, which I don’t know if it’s true or not but it is amusing, about Roger Taylor. He was apparently so adament that his song, I’m In Love With My Car, should be on the B Side, that he locked himself up in the cupboard until Freddie and the rest agreed it would be.

So, Roger Taylor is not just an expert drummer and great singer, but he’s also a top notch negotioator too. (If the rumours are to be believed.) And that’s how all of this started.

The next day, I recieved Bohemian Rhapsody in the post from Cinema Paradiso. Coincidence? Glitch in the Matrix? Or, a message? I don’t know.

I watched the film, I loved the film, I then said to someone that, yes, whilst I like We Will Rock You (the song, not the musical – I’ve not seen the musical) by Queen because, obviously it’s a great song, I also quite liked Five’s version back in the 90s. Not to the point where I think it’s better, and it has it’s flaws (what were they thinking with that rap!?) but yeah, I can listen to it and I can sing along.

I listen to Absolute Classic Rock. Any Queen song can come on at any time. The next Queen song to come on after i said that, was We Will Rock You.

A few hours later I struggled to fall asleep, but eventually I started to doze off. And then Hammer to Fall came on the radio. I woke up about 10 hours later. The first song to come on after the song I woke up to finished? It was Hammer to Fall by Queen. Nature of a repetitive playlist? Coincidence? Or something more? I don’t know.

I explained to my brother that these wierd Queen-related things keep happening. Do you know what came on the telvision? An advert for a Visa card, which has Somebody to Love as the background song. It’s not unusual, they’ve been used in Adverts before – a furniture advert if I remember correctly – but the timing is a bit suspicious. Is it a green car effect? Has Queen just been everywhere all this time but finally I’m back in tune with them? I did have a Queen phase a few years ago, but it was more of a subphase to the 1970s/1980s kick I was on at the time and that’s a lot of ground to cover to know every little thing about every artist, and I think I just binge learnt about Meatloaf, Bonnie Tyler and Tiffany, and none of those artists ever seemed to follow me about during my day.

Well, a couple of days without incident went by and then I ended up watching a youtube clip of Ant and Dec where Ant’s a farmer wearing a giant wig and Dec loses it laughing. This one I brought on myself, deliberately, just because I needed to hear Dec say “It’s Brian May!” to Ant in a geordie accent. And then, I went the loo, came back to We Are The Champions on the radio. Could it be Green Car effect? Is this all just a coincidence? I don’t know. All I know is that later than night I wrote in my actual physical journal “This bizarre link to the universe needs to give me less Queen on the radio and more money”, and a split second after I wrote that sentence, Queen’s I Want To Break Free came on the radio. I think if the universe had any sense of humour, it would have actually given me “Money” by the Beatles (Or by it’s original performer Barrett Strong, or the infamous cover version by the Flying Lizards) but maybe this isn’t a case of humour.

Maybe this is all a message. What that message is, I can’t figure out!

And well, that brings us to today. Today, trying very hard to catch up on Uni work through sickness and fatique and major reconstruction works on the block of flats I live in, I had to take a break. I was falling asleep. I needed to laugh at something.

“I know!” I said to myself, “I’ll watch that clip of Paul O’Grady falling off his chair, that always makes me laugh” (sorry Paul O’Grady). And, this is tangenitally related to Queen but I’m taking it anyway. Do you know who was on the couch when Paul O’Grady fell off his chair? Matt Lucas, David Walliams and Anita Dobson. Who is Anita Dobson married to? Brian May.

I told my brother about this latest wierd coincidence, as tangenital as it may be, less than 30 seconds later “I Want It All” came on the radio.

So, Freddie Mercury, mate! I’m listening. I’ve got eyes and ears open! But I can’t figure out whatever it is you’re trying to tell me!

And, hell, i’m being presumtuous here. Maybe it’s not Freddie. Maybe it’s Roger Taylor, or hell maybe even John Deacon. It can’t be Brian May, because he’s quite active on Instagram.

Maybe, whoever it is, they’ve stopped communicating on our plane of existence and the only way they can communicate is through wierd coincidental timings involving me? I have a history of this kind of thing, after all. Maybe I am actually psychic! (or is it a Kind of Magic? hah hah hah)

Never for anything useful like Money or busses, no, but definitely if you want a film on television or a song on the radio, all I need to do is talk about it and your wish will be granted within 48 hours. Usually what happens is that I order an obscure film through Cinema Paradiso that’s not been on television in a while, only for it to be on television the day after I watch it on DVD.

Either way, whatever the message is, fellas, I’m waiting!

 

Edited to Add: The day after writing this blog post, I woke up very late and had a late start on my uni work. The uni work involves interactive videos, so I went to turn my radio off to hear them properly. Just as I reached out to slide the switch off at the back, Queen’s One Vision came on. Later on in the day my laptop crashed. I often sing to myself and as I finished one song – The Joyful Kilmarnock Blues by the Proclaimers – I started singing Bicycle Race. I picked up my phone, checked social media to find a friend had, just a minute before, posted a picture of Freddie Mercury with an inspirational quote about being yourself.

To add to this, unrelated slightly, but just as I sung the line “Jaws was never my scene and I don’t like Star Wars”, another friend posted about playing the latest Star Wars game.

What is this message and what am I meant to do with it?!

*This post is written almost entirely in jest. Though these freaky coincidences have been happening and does creep me out, I do not actually believe Freddie Mercury, or any other member of Queen, is trying to communicate with me through the power of bizarre timed songs on the radio or youtube video clip guests. But it is a nice idea, that out of all the poeple in the universe, I would be the one trusted to recieve an important message should Freddie Mercury or the other Queen Members find themselves trapped in the astral plane. Normally I’m not even trusted to pour milk out the carton.

No disrespect or offense is intended. Especially not to John Deacon, who now lives a quiet life out of the public eye and I almost didn’t mention him due to that fact, but that felt even more disrespectful to him as a person as well as a respected artist.


Weight Loss Journey: Re-Approaching The Last Hurdle

Saturday 2 November, 2019

So, I thought I’d update people on this little issue… This gets gross, so just, be aware. Turn back if you can’t handle icky, gross embarrassing health issues!

I was steadily losing a bit of weight by eating smaller portions, more veg and less potatoes and bread, cutting down on chocolate for unrelated dairy-digestion issues as well as weight… and then suddenly I had another spell of acid reflux that was more like choking on my own saliva than anything else. For six hours, I was regurgitating tiny remnants of food I’d eaten over the last two days – a bit different to outright vomiting, as vomit is (I believe) rejected and projected from your stomach, where as I had food work their way half way up my throat and get stuck, and hiccups that ended up in randomly projection of acidy gunk from… somewhere. My stomach? My throat? No idea. And after that night, I could barely eat for two months as eating anything solid, heavy, greasy, dry or soft and mushy would get stuck in my throat and come back up as chewed, digested bits in acidy gunk, a few hours later.

My diet for weight loss went out the window because I had to eat what I could, when I could. And the weight dropped off me. I don’t know how much, it might not as been as much as it looked, but it looked bad to me. It felt bad. It was also a worry that people who knew I was trying to lose weight would see this as something self inflicted, I’ve had those suspicions before when I had a blockage, but I was suffering, both then and now. For those two months, I wasn’t eating much more than cereal, bananas, chicken and over cooked pasta, chicken and rice, and peanut butter on toast.

I’ve had tests, all came back “normal”. Which means that i’ve been discharged and left to manage it by myself, because obviously if the tests say everything is fine, that means the symptoms aren’t actually happening… Oh to have a doctor like Gregory House!

It was the middle of august when I started to get an appetite back, and I felt I could eat without food getting stuck in my throat. Over the last two months i’ve managed to re-introduce food at more normal portion sizes than what I could over those two months. And I’ve put the weight on. And then a bit more, somehow.

And in these latest two months, I’ve only had an acid attack twice, and that was in the same week. Regular bouts of acid reflux are at the normal level of “every few days”.

And now it’s winter, which means being tempted with halloween themed cake, and hot chocolate, and roast dinners. I’m sticking to my idea of cutting chocolate out, it’s just hard when people offer me it becuase I’m known as the chocolate lover, and the cake eater, and I do love a good donner kebab. That one has nothing to do with diary, but I thought, whilst I was being honest… Though I haven’t had a donner kebab in a long while!

I just want to fit into my jeans again. It’s not about the numbers, it’s a third about health, but it’s mostly about my favourite pair of jeans.